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已有 403 次阅读11.6.2009 21:19

街上拍电影,被围观的却是移动发电设备
文科美女,车坏了,不声不响从后备箱里拿出成套工具,爬进去修
搭好全套实验设备,老板说不行还没好,又用了一个月,终于搞成无人值守自动测量系统
——看看下面这个笑话吧:

> SOCIALISM

> You have 2 cows.

> You give one to your neighbour.

>

> COMMUNISM

> You have 2 cows.

> The State takes both and gives you some milk.

>

> FASCISM

> You have 2 cows.

> The State takes both and sells you some milk..

>

> NAZISM

> You have 2 cows.

> The State takes both and shoots you.

>

> BUREAUCRATISM

> You have 2 cows.

> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

>

> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

> You have two cows.

> You sell one and buy a bull.

> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

> You sell them and retire on the income.

>

> SURREALISM

> You have two giraffes.

> The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

>

> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

> You have two cows.

> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

> Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

>

> ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM

> You have two cows.

> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

> The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

> The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

> You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.

> No balance sheet provided with the release.

> The public then buys your bull.

>

> A FRENCH CORPORATION

> You have two cows.

> You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

>

> A JAPANESE CORPORATION

> You have two cows.

> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

>

> A GERMAN CORPORATION

> You have two cows.

> You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

>

> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

> You decide to have lunch.

>

> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

> You have two cows.

> You count them and learn you have five cows.

> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

> You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

>

> A SWISS CORPORATION

> You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

> You charge the owners for storing them.

>

> A CHINESE CORPORATION

> You have two cows.

> You have 300 people milking them.

> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

>

> AN INDIAN CORPORATION

> You have two cows.

> You worship them.

>

> A BRITISH CORPORATION

> You have two cows.

> Both are mad.

>

> AN IRAQI CORPORATION

> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

> You tell them that you have none.

> No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.

> You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

>

> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

> You have two cows.

> Business seems pretty good.

> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

>

> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

> You have two cows.

> The one on the left looks very attractive

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