Economic Models explained with cows

落落米

SOCIALISM<br>社会主义<br>You have 2 cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>You give one to your neighbour.<br>你把其中一头给你的邻居<br><br>COMMUNISM<br>共产主义<br>You have 2 cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>The State takes both and gives you some milk.<br>政府全部拿走，然后给你牛奶<br><br>FASCISM<br>法西斯主义<br>You have 2 cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>The State takes both and sells you some milk.<br>政府全部拿走，然后将牛奶卖给你<br><br>NAZISM<br>纳粹主义<br>You have 2 cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>The State takes both and shoots you.<br>政府全部拿走，再杀掉你<br><br>BUREAUCRATISM<br>官僚主义<br>You have 2 cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...<br>政府全部拿走，杀死其中一个，用另外一个挤奶，然后将牛奶倒掉。<br><br>TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM<br>传统资本主义<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>You sell one and buy a bull.<br>你卖掉其中一头，再买头公牛。<br>Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.<br>它们会生小牛，这样经济就发展了<br>You sell them and retire on the income.<br>最后，你可以卖掉它们，赚够钱退休。<br><br>SURREALISM<br>超现实主义<br>You have two giraffes.<br>你有两头长颈鹿<br>The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.<br>政府要求你去参加口琴培训。<br><br><br>THE ANDERSEN MODEL<br>安德森模型<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>You shred them.<br>你把他们都切碎<br><br>AN AMERICAN CORPORATION<br>美国公司<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.<br>卖掉其中一头，迫使另一头达到4倍的产奶量。<br>Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.<br>随后，你请个顾问分析奶牛为什么会死。<br><br>A FRENCH CORPORATION<br>法国公司<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.<br>你进行罢工，暴动，阻塞道路，因为政府欠你第3头牛。<br><br>A JAPANESE CORPORATION<br>日本公司<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.<br>你重新进行设计，让你的牛只有原来1/10大小，却能生产出20倍的牛奶<br>You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market<br>it worldwide.<br>接着创造出一个卡通奶牛形象，售往世界各地<br><br>A GERMAN CORPORATION<br>德国公司<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.<br>进行工程优化以后，奶牛拥有100岁的寿命，每个月才吃一次草，并自动产奶。<br><br>AN ITALIAN CORPORATION<br>意大利公司<br>You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.<br>You decide to have lunch.<br>你有两头奶牛，但你不知道他们在哪里；你决定先吃了午饭再说。<br><br>A RUSSIAN CORPORATION<br>俄罗斯公司<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>You count them and learn you have five cows.<br>点了一遍以后，你觉得有5头；<br>You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.<br>再点一遍，觉得有42头；<br>You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.<br>又点一遍，这次只点到2头；<br>You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.<br>于是你停止点数，又开了一瓶伏特加。<br><br>A SWISS CORPORATION<br>瑞士公司<br>You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.<br>You charge the owners for storing them.<br>你看管着别人的5000头奶牛，并向奶牛的主人收取管理费。<br><br>A CHINESE CORPORATION<br>中国公司<br>You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.<br>有两头奶，300个挤奶工人，宣称无人失业，生产高效，和谐完美。<br>You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.<br>你顺带把胆敢报道真实情况的记者抓了起来。<br><br>AN INDIAN CORPORATION<br>印度公司<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>You worship them.<br>你把它们当作神来供奉<br><br>A BRITISH CORPORATION<br>英国公司<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>Both are mad.<br>都是疯的<br><br>AN IRAQI CORPORATION<br>伊拉克公司<br>Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none.<br>No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.<br>大家都认为你有很多牛，你告诉他们你没有。结果没人相信。于是他们×××了你和你的国家。<br>You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy... .<br>你还是没有牛，但据说有了民主。<br><br>A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION<br>新西兰公司<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>The one on the left looks very attractive.<br>左边那口看起来更好。<br><br>AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION<br>澳大利亚公司<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>Business seems pretty good.<br>生意真好<br>You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.<br>你关了公司，喝点啤酒庆祝下<br><br>INDONESIAN CORPORATION<br>印度尼西亚公司<br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>Both are stolen.<br>都被偷了<br>You then sell both.<br>你它们都卖掉<br>You then stash the money to a very obscure non-budgetary account.<br>然后你把钱存入一个性质不明，无预算的帐号<br>You then throw some of the money to political parties for campaign funds, but you keep most of it for yourself.<br>把小部分钱给那些党派竞争，大部分自己留下。<br><br><br><br><br>美国安然风险投资资本主义<br>ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM <br><br>You have two cows.<br>你有两头奶牛<br>Yousell
three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters ofcredit
opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute adebt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get allfour cows
back, with a tax exemption for five cows.<br>向你的上市公司售出3头奶牛，使用你妹夫的信用来付款。然后，采用债转股，享受其中的优惠政策，一共的得到4头奶牛，免税，你可以得到5头。<br>Themilk
rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to aCayman
Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder whosells the
rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.<br>6头奶牛的挤奶权通过中介转到一家由一家股份制的公司。然后将7头奶牛的产奶权买给原上市公司。<br>The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.<br>年度报告说，上市公司拥有8头奶牛，你也有选择再获得一个。<br>You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.<br>你卖了一头奶牛，买下美国总统，这样你还剩9头。<br>No balance sheet provided with the release.<br>没有收支平衡资产负债表。<br>The public then buys your bull.<br>民众开始买你的公牛。<br><br>最后一个比较晦涩难懂，实际上就是制造假的文件，卖莫须有的牛，还要收挤奶费，同时还要让政府看起来这个公司经营很好。当然，这个卖的所获得的钱，转到外国的私人小公司，避免国内司法部门的检查。

dypeny

COMMUNISM
共产主义
You have 2 cows.
你有两头奶牛
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
政府全部拿走，然后给你牛奶


共产主义社会没有政府

dypeny

最后一个最奶牛了 是原始版的皮包公司!!